I love Harrods. It’s my most favourite wanky department store in the entire world. It’s ridiculously expensive and I hardly ever buy anything there but I love to go and look. It’s like a museum of the coolest stuff in the world that you can buy for 20% more than any other major department store in the UK.
My favourite part is the food hall. Today, like any normal person would, I spent 35 minutes in the chocolate section, walking around doing a mini stocktake of all the limited white chocolate (my favourite) and thinking what an outrage it is that it’s so discriminated against. As a reward to myself for doing absolutely zero exercise today I bought 4 truffles. For £6.
|Chocolate dipped fruit, yours for only £7.50 per 100g. How on earth to Tesco compete?|
Next stop children’s wear. To the designer section. I usually get stuck at the Burberry corner because I find those little microwaved trench coats just so adorable, but my main purpose is to check out the price tags and wonder who the fuck would spend £450 on a size 3 coat?
|Burberry kids beanie. Only £65. Why wouldn’t you?|
While my chocolate was digesting I pondered my next destination – Kitchen appliances. I wanted to know what the most expensive fridge they sold was? I’ve wondered this before but the last time I was there I got stuck at their pet section and never made it that far (they sell live pets and in the 70’s they used to sell lions. I kid you not). They also have a lovely range of diamond collars and also pink bikini’s for small dogs.
Alas I never got to the appliance floor because something else caught my eye. This…
|“Rudolph, what month is it?”. Even the reindeers look bewildered|
Christmas!! In SEPTEMBER! And they were playing christmas carols.
I spent ages here, trying to find the most expensive Christmas thing I could. It took a while and there was quite a bit of steep competition, including the £199 tree angel and the £55 tinsel. But I found a winner .. ta da!
Christmas crackers. £599 for a pack of 8.
There had better be precious rocks in those babies.
Ho ho ho!