Why Do Boys Smell?

Sometimes I look at the state of the toilet in my kids bathroom and I wonder “how the hell did they even do that? Is it physically possible?”

Boys are disgusting. Mine are only aged 6, 4 and 2 and already my house has taken on the scent of a teenage boy kingdom. I’ve had to start investing in some combat warfare.

Anyone with boys will know what I mean. Boy smell is a smell like no other. Plus, mine haven’t even got to the proper deodorant requiring stage yet. Thank god.

I am constantly amazed by the difference in boys and girls – well, mine anyway. Holly is highly organised, super tidy and I never have to ask her if she has packed her PE stuff. I don’t even know her timetable, no need to, she has it totally sorted. She schedules her hair washes on certain days and I wash about twenty nine thousand pairs of her knickers every week.

Luca on the other hand still needs me to put his undies on. I think I’m going to have that as part of my morning routine for a long time to come too. He has no concept that school requires getting dressed and if on a weekday I just decided not to dress him one day or send him to school he wouldn’t even notice.

Boys are simple creatures … once you get past the smell, noise, energy and mess. For a long time it was just Holly but when she was three and a half Luca came along and I wasn’t prepared for how affectionate and needy boys are. My sons will all be mummy’s boys and I’ll never be ashamed of that. Pity for their future wives/husbands/partners but too frickin bad. I’m here to stay.

I don’t really know where I’m going with today’s blog. It was doing the morning tidy up of the kids bathroom and then a load of washing which when I get to my boys underwear I wonder why the hell I buy toilet paper at all given they obviously don’t use it. Gross but true.

Anyway so I thought I’d reach out to all the Mums of boys out there and say ….

At what age should I look into gas masks? For me obviously. And when can I expect they’ll wipe their bum properly? 10? 18? 35? I look forward to the day I can dig my hand into the dirty washing hamper without having to disinfect it afterwards.

But poo, smells and more poo … I love my three boys and I love my boy/girl ratio. Even though I’m in therapy and in need of a padded cell from time to time, I wouldn’t have it any other way x

10 Responses to "Why Do Boys Smell?"

Jody at Six Little Hearts says:

16/09/2013 at 10:10 am

Lol! My eldest girl is a slob! At 13 she is still disorganised, messy and deliberately won’t flush a poo for the fun of it. (She likes me to discover them after she has gone to school – apparently it’s hilarious)!
My second eldest, a boy, is all tidiness, helpful, clean and incredibly smart.
Then the three – 9, 7 and 5 year old boys are totally disgusting! They fight, pee everywhere and spill food. The 9 year old has only just got night trained! Hoping the other 2 don’t take his lead!
It definitely depends on the child. Boys are Mommies boys! All soggy and useless without a female to guide them. Can see why men are the way they are now!
Who knows what direction the baby girl will go but she is certainly a shitty sleeper!

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1. Steph says:
  
  16/09/2013 at 5:55 pm
  
  That’s hilarious. Having said all those wonderful things about my 9 year old daughter earlier, she was the most dreadful baby. Spewed and cried for 2 years and was by far my most difficult newborn/baby/toddler. She’s lucky she has any siblings at all.
  
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Lisa Newlin says:

16/09/2013 at 10:19 am

I think an investment in gas masks is smart at this venture. You’ll never say “I wish I hadn’t bought this gas mask.”

I will also remind you that smelly boys grow up to be smelly men, so prepare yourself accordingly.

I find vodka masks the smell nicely.

I can also assure you that boys never learn to properly wipe their asses…which is why I make my husband do the laundry!

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1. Steph says:
  
  16/09/2013 at 5:55 pm
  
  Well I’d have to agree with you there. It’s why I wash my clothes on their own and Rob’s go in with the kids.
  
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LeighRex says:

16/09/2013 at 2:39 pm

LOL – I laughed out loud and the skiddy undies man – hilair!!! I have an almost 10yo girl and an 8yo boy. Both have been wiping their arses fine for a good few years now, couldn’t tell you the last time I saw a skid. My girl is very creative, head in the clouds and scatty to boot. Her scattiness is the COMPLETE opposite to my usually very organised, logical, finger on the pulse self and I have to say it can do my absolute HEAD in sometimes!! My son is organised, a thinker, logical and knows exactly whats going on. I really don’t think its a boy/girl thing, I believe they are all individual little people who SURELY to god will wipe their own arses effectively at some stage (good luck with that anyway mate!)… x

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1. Steph says:
  
  16/09/2013 at 5:58 pm
  
  I hope you’re right, the thought of having to do for all my boys what I have to do for my eldest boy kills me. I need another tidy organiser in the mix!
  
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Susan says:

16/09/2013 at 3:44 pm

Baaaahahahaha as a first time mum due to give birth to a little (smelly) boy in approximately two weeks, I have read this post with a mixture of sheer delight and utter disgust!

I’ve already ear marked my husband for the sole responsibility of bedroom duty from the age of 11 upwards….perhaps I need to pencil that in sooner!

I’ve also been working on him for the NECESSITY of a house with a second, serene and CLEAN, adult only bathroom. No joy there yet, but Rome wasn’t built in a day.

I am looking forward to the cuddles though, and the fact that boys can be given a ball to kick around and a hamburger to eat and all will be right in their world. Whereas with us girls far more negotiation is required. Well it was in my family anyway!

I hope Aus is being kind to you Steph 🙂 xx

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1. Steph says:
  
  16/09/2013 at 6:00 pm
  
  Oh sweetie, you need that bathroom but you have a couple of years. I urge you for the sake of your sanity to at least get another toilet (and then banish both your boys to it!)
  
  Boys are super cool, I look forward to hearing your news very soon! xxx
  
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philositect says:

17/09/2013 at 4:26 am

When I was a lad – maybe 8yo – my Dad threatened to tie a weight to my thingy in order to help direct the flow into the bowl. This did help to concentrate the aim. I still have the occasional ‘mistake’ but have taught myself to wipe up and disinfect afterwards.

I had to laugh at Rob’s stuff going in with the kids washing. LOL Does he know?

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1. Steph says:
  
  17/09/2013 at 9:58 am
  
  I am so going to threaten my kids with that! And no, Rob has no idea what goes on in the laundry. Since he did a load on 90 degrees and then put all my things in the dryer and turned them into Barbie size clothes he’s not allowed to set foot in there. If I’m honest I mainly do mine separately because all my stuff gets hung up to dry and everything else goes in the dryer.
  
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