Obedient? I Wish

You know those kids who can be playing with something or talking to someone or kicking a ball around and then their Mum calls out “Johnny, time to go” .. and little Johnny says “okay Mum, coming” and then drops whatever he’s doing and does as his Mum asks?

I don’t have a Johnny.

I often wonder about Mums who have kids like that. How do they do it? What am I doing wrong? I’ve had four shots at this parenting lark and I can’t get any of mine to do that.

This morning I was trying to get Luca into his classroom and he was riding his scooter around the playground like a maniac and I was calling out to him over and over again to put the scooter away and he just ignored me.

It was getting embarrassing so I pretended in front of the other Mums that it wasn’t bothering me and laughed it off before Luca made the mistake of riding close by to me so I quickly jumped out in front of him and so nobody could hear me I bent down with a huge smile on my face, put my arm lovingly around him and whispered, “I swear to God if you do not get off that scooter right now I will take it when you go to school and throw it in the river and before you scream and throw a tantrum, if you utter one tiny noise there will be no iPad until Easter”. 

And with that I kissed him on the cheek and turned around and smiled at the other Mums as though I hadn’t said a word and that my child is always that super obedient and polite and does as he’s asked all the time, before we quietly put his scooter away and walked off.

I’m pretty sure someone’s going to ask me to write a parenting book very soon.

You’re welcome.