Neat Freaks Anonymous

I am a very organised and tidy person. Too organised if you ask my husband and kids. I like things done a certain way, within a certain time frame and to a certain degree of quality.

I just re-read that and basically I sound like a giant pain in the ass.

I like to have all my kids uniforms and lunches ready the night before. I am even contemplating getting their cereal bowls and spoons out before I go to bed but I fear that would put me one step closer to insanity (who am I kidding, I reached that eons ago). Anyway I’ll probably still do it.

I don’t feel like my day can start until my bed is made. My family doesn’t share that feeling though.

I’ve watched you tube tutorials on how to make beds properly. Lots of them.

I get great pleasure out of seeing the bottom of the washing basket. I rarely go to bed with any more than half a load of dirty washing in the hamper. I never go to bed without the dishwasher being on. Ever. Unless I wait up and empty it before I go to bed. Nothing like starting a new day with an empty dishwasher is there? Or not, perhaps.

My underwear drawer is sorted into colours and like-fabric piles. My wardrobe is divided into sections and I’m in the market for new colour coded hangers but given I just threw about a hundred chunky timber ones out I think Rob would kill me if I bought more.

I don’t own any clutter. I don’t have a linen press – only the sheets we have on our beds and one spare set each. Same with the towels and two for the dog. Each and every single one of my kids toys has a proper home and not one puzzle has a piece missing (that’s not true, one does and it really shits me).

I plan my entire morning schedule before I get out of bed. Down to the route I’ll drive to do my newly acquired Sydney school run from hell.

I can’t watch that show ‘Hoarders’. It’s too distressing.

I don’t like anyone else stacking my dishwasher. Especially Rob. When my kids are older I”ll probably laminate a small map of what goes where for the dishwasher. They’ll all ignore it and it will be an issue for me that I’ll likely need medication for.

Mess causes me physical angst. It stresses me and I hate it. I don’t care if anyone elses house is messy, couldn’t care less. But if its mine I do. As I walk around the house tidying the mess though I can feel the stress lifting and then once it’s back to completely tidy I feel elated. Oh my god that makes me sound sick. It’s lucky I’m in therapy.

Yet my car is a tip. Full of empty coffee cups and parking meter tickets (well it was until we moved to Sydney .. as a side note I am loving free parking on almost all Sydney North Shore streets!). I frequently find petrified kids food circa up to the last time the car was serviced which means it gets its bi-annual clean.

And my second drawer down in the kitchen is a death trap. Stick your hand in looking for the potato masher and you could lose a finger on a knife. I can’t figure a way to organise that yet.

Could you put up with someone like me? Does my husband deserve a trophy for lasting fifteen years with me? ….. probably.

More importantly, any tips for my kitchen drawer? What colour hangers should I get?