I used to be fat. Really fat.

Tomorrow an article is being posted on the wonderful fitness website I’m involved with about me and my former life.

My former life when I was fat.

There will be photos of me … and they will be on the internet forever.

But you know what? Even though I’m a little nervous, I’m actually cool with people seeing them. It was me and I can’t change that.

I’m not ashamed of where I was, I’m very glad I’m not there anymore – but I’ll never be ashamed. Nobody should ever be ashamed of who they are – but if YOU (and only you) aren’t happy with that person then it’s possible to change.

My fitness journey over the past two and a half years has been so rewarding. SO rewarding. When I look back at photos of me three years ago I am filled with sadness. I can see the misery behind my eyes, the self loathing and the look in my eye that says “please, not another photo”.

If you are reading this and think that sounds like you, I really hope you come back to my blog tomorrow where I will paste a link.

Change doesn’t happen without change. It’s my favourite saying in the world.

16 Responses to "I used to be fat. Really fat."

Sammie says:

20/05/2014 at 9:11 pm

I used to be really fat too. My fitness and weight loss journey was slow and steady but so worth it. When I look back at my old photos, I can hardly recognise myself because the change has been so great, inside and out. I’ve already bared my body and soul on the internet with my before and after photos, so I’ll definitely be back tomorrow to read your story. Inspiring stuff, Steph!

Reply
1. Steph says:
  
  20/05/2014 at 9:26 pm
  
  Thanks, Sam. Once upon a time I swore this photo in particular would never see the light of day but I feel differently about it now x
  
  Reply
2. Wendy says:
  
  21/05/2014 at 7:39 am
  
  I love both of you and think fat or not fat you are both inspirational peeps with good hearts. It’s fantastic that both of you are inspiring others to live a healthy happy life and I know I for one have learnt a lot from both of you. Keep enjoying the journey
  
  Reply
  1. Steph says:
    
    21/05/2014 at 8:36 am
    
    Thanks darling. I’m on a bit of a mission to encourage others to do the same. Even if that means sharing me at my lowest with the internet! lol.
    
    Reply
Lisse says:

20/05/2014 at 9:19 pm

Never been fat but never appreciated that fact I wasn’t l enough either. Now the metabolism is slowing down it means so much for me to be able to say I am fit and healthy. There are times when I can’t and I hate that. I can hear the joy and love you have for yourself now and hope others will feel it too!! So proud of you always. X

Reply
1. Steph says:
  
  20/05/2014 at 9:29 pm
  
  You are incredibly lovely xx
  
  Reply
Jo H says:

20/05/2014 at 9:20 pm

I will definitely be back. The superheroes of my world used to be where I am now. I would never have believed it! It makes me believe it’s possible for me to be able to one day say ‘I used to be fat’.

Reply
1. Steph says:
  
  20/05/2014 at 9:31 pm
  
  It is. I weighed around 90-95kg after Jude was born. He’s 3 now. I now hover around 63kg .. it’s doable. I promise.
  
  Reply
Rach aka stinkb0mb says:

20/05/2014 at 9:29 pm

I wish I was really fat – I’m not, I’m officially obese, probably tipping over into morbidly obese if I’m totally honest with myself and it scares me. I know how I got here and that reason is still very much a part of my being and that’s what scares me the most – to lose this weight, I need to get past that, to see and believe my own self worth and I truly worry that I never will – I’ll never really believe that I deserve to be healthy, not fat and most of all happy. That sadness is in my eyes too, every time I look in the mirror – not photo’s because I don’t allow any to be taken of me.

I will be back to read your story and see your pictures because I need all the courage I can grab onto to allow myself to believe that, yes, I am actually worth good health, a body I love rather than hate and happiness in my eyes rather than sadness.

You inspire many Steph, even those you don’t know about.

x

Reply
1. Steph says:
  
  20/05/2014 at 9:32 pm
  
  You are worth it. Totally worth it and if I can do it anyone can. Truly.
  
  Reply
Dannielle says:

20/05/2014 at 9:35 pm

I will be back tomorrow too. I didn’t realise it at the time but I trained myself not to look at myself in the mirror when I got to my heaviest and unhappiest. I probably am still fat, but I’m so much happier than I was and the weight seems to be shifting easier than it was before. You are an inspiration. xx

Reply
1. Steph says:
  
  21/05/2014 at 6:43 am
  
  It’s been a pleasure to watch your journey too, Dannielle.!
  
  Reply
Sally Littlestone says:

20/05/2014 at 10:23 pm

As you know I too used to be fat. If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have found the strength to lose all the weight and become fit and healthy again. You are an inspiration and I bloody love you xxx

Reply
1. Steph says:
  
  21/05/2014 at 6:44 am
  
  What you’ve achieved is mind-blowing and I’ve loved being there to witness it. You are such a champion, Sal. Love you xx
  
  Reply
Alina says:

21/05/2014 at 10:52 am

Steph – you were never fat, but that isn’t to say that you haven’t come so far since those days when we would talk about those crazy people running along the Thames!

Reply
1. Steph says:
  
  21/05/2014 at 11:03 am
  
  No I really was. I came close to 100kg when Jude was born so yes was definitely fat. Yep those crazy runners – who knew I’d eventually turn into one of them. I used to think they were complete freaks!
  
  Reply

Please share!

Leave a Reply Cancel reply