Business Class Farce

We recently flew from London to Sydney. The company my husband works for paid for our tickets and I’m not sure whether it was an accident or because they think he’s awesome, but they sent us business class. Screw the holiday I just couldn’t wait for the flight. Twenty four hours of having someone bring me food and drinks and a chance to watch all the b-grade movies I like. (And with only 50% of my children on-board because I left the two that don’t know how to behave yet in London with Mum. Yes, the parenting award for 2012 goes to me again).

This meant we had access to the business class lounge. A place where all the wankers who think they are better than everyone else on the planet all hang out before flying their ego’s around the globe. I have decided this is in my top three people watching locations.

The worst offenders of this are men. It’s like there’s a little competition happening, nobody knows each other yet everyone’s trying to look more important – or more relaxed as though traveling business is a daily occurrence. Because let’s face it, 95% of business class travelers aren’t paying for their tickets themselves. The other 5% are obscenely wealthy. Clever people who make shitloads of money don’t waste it on business class seats. They are all in economy in discomfort to save them money to spend at the 5-star resorts they’re traveling to.

A phenomena happens when people travel on planes. It’s like a miniature version of Britain’s class structure on steroids. My favourite part is when passengers in first and business are called to board first. They all stand up, chests puffed out to give strength to their neck which needs to support their giant swollen heads and ego’s .. and they march off to the pointy end of the plane with the entire economy class watching. Then they sit down in their extra large seats, sipping on champagne and watch the other 300 or so people file down to economy, this somehow gives people a feeling of importance – even when, like us, they aren’t there because they are super rich but because some stupid company has wasted its money sending its employees business class.

But. It was SO GOOD. If I got to travel business class every time we flew I wouldn’t give a shit what someone like me was writing about them because, quite frankly, they’re just jealous. (OK, I admit it).

Steph