Burning Meatballs

Rob and I are on the Isle of Skye at the moment. Because we only have about seven weeks left in London we’ve managed to put aside two lots of a few days to go on two final trips in Europe because my parents are here and have offered to mind the kids, so we’ve both picked somewhere each.

Rob picked Scotland, and I picked Rome.

So we’re in Scotland. We’re at the northern tip of the Isle and although it’s beautiful, there isn’t much to do except admire the view and walk. Given I have totally buggered my knee after running the London Bupa 10,000 last week, big hikes are out in lieu of gentle strolls through paddocks and fields.

So this afternoon we decided to walk from the guest house we’re staying in, down to the water which is a few hundred metres away. Being me, I just headed straight down the hill towards the fence, thinking there might be a gap and if there wasn’t I’d just jump over it. Rob on the other hand is a law abider and I could sense his trepidation as I hobbled down the hill with my bung knee.

When I got to the chainwire fence I pulled it down and stepped over it without a problem and kept walking. Rob however did not, and not long later I heard the sound of him screaming like a dying lamb. So I turned around to find him all tangled up by his feet in the barbed wire and the rest of him in a heap on the ground, yelling at me “The fucking fence is electrified, my balls just got zapped”. “No it’s not, Rob, I stepped over it just fine, why would it be electrified?” “LOOK AT ALL THE SHEEP, STEPH”.

He was pretty outraged that I didn’t have much sympathy for him because I thought the whole thing was hilarious and I laughed so hard I might have wee’d myself a bit. I just didn’t believe him and thought he was being dramatic.

“You are so mean, you don’t even care that I got electrocuted. My scrotum is burned, Steph, you are going to have to have a look at it later”.

“I will not be looking at your burnt balls, Rob .. it wasn’t an electrified fence.

“It bloody well was, I felt it!”.

As it turns out it was electrified but I didn’t believe him until we came across this.

The rest of the afternoon we spent cracking jokes about sizzling sausages, crisp nuts and charcoaled meatballs .. and how brutal and unsympathetic women are. We laughed for ages about it and I’m probably going to have to pay him out for a long time about it.

Later in the evening he finally stopped whining about his burnt gonads too. Thankfully. I was starting to think I’d never hear the end of it.

Turns out his near death experience was almost as bad as man flu.