The Great Flood of 2013

noahs ark

I learnt something very important about myself at the gym today. I like to think I’m quite self aware but I guess there are still things I’ve yet to learn.

Like that my pelvic floor and Body Attack classes are not friends.

Not. At. All.

I didn’t have much time today so I did one of those intense express half hour classes, which was a blessing in disguise really. I dread to think how much therapy I’d need had what I went through today gone for a whole hour.

It all started innocently enough with loads of jumping around and kicking. Neither of which I ever do. I am a runner and have no need to pirouette in the air or do any high kicks while I’m getting my miles in so apart from the odd sneeze with a full bladder I’ve never noticed how dodgy my olde ye pelvic floor is.

Until today.

In fairness to my PF, I was in the second row behind Jane Fonda’s great-niece (I don’t actually know that but strongly suspected she was, you know the type), so I was trying to keep up and not look like I’d never done a Body Attack class beore … (pfffft, I can run 21kms, how hard can it be? I thought at the start).

Little did the gym know its floor would be getting a mildly acidic monday morning cleanse.

Oh yes I did. All over the floor.

It was the wrong day to not wear my black running skins that would have been far more absorbent. Instead I wore small floppy running shorts with a sports thong underneath (tmi I know but you need the whole picture .. yes you really do).

Leakage happened mainly during one particular part of the routine when you had to run on the spot with knees high in the air and every eight knees up there were four high kicks.

Splish splash. Everywhere.

I’d imagine if this happened to someone else, most people would do the aerobic walk of shame out the door mid-class, but not me. Somewhere in my deranged head I thought it would be less embarrassing to spray wee all over studio 1 than walk out with the remnants of my dignity.

And that I did.

But it gets worse.

I didn’t have a gym towel and had to use my jumper to discreetly wipe it up. Yummy.

Top that for a monday.


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