Not Dumb But Definitely Dumber

Since the birth of my first child, I’d say my IQ has probably halved. I have taken ‘baby brain’ to a whole other level and sometimes I feel like the village idiot.

It’s no secret that Mums feel a bit foggy when they have a newborn, but is it supposed to last nine years? Or does it compound? So because I have four kids I’m four times less intelligent than I would be if I’d only had one? Or is that three times less intelligent? See, my brain aches just thinking about that simple fraction.

My brain has a selective function problem. I manage to run a household of four kids with precision, military style almost, can pretty much tell you how much every item at the supermarket costs, I rarely forget anything to do with my children (except that one time I took them to school at half term break), yet things that used to be second nature to me before I had kids I struggle with.

It’s more that if there’s something that isn’t vital to my day-to-day life, my brain just doesn’t compute.Β Like with homework. Holly’s year 4 homework. It’s insane, I had to do chemistry as a subject for two years at university yet I can’t remember some basic science principles … for nine year olds. WTF?

Because if it isn’t embarrassing enough that I often need Google to help me with her homework, Holly can often work out maths answers quicker than I can and last week gave me a lesson on the difference between a scalene and isosceles triangle before going into detail on how a Newton Meter works. I’m hoping she’s just a genius and it’s no reflection on my pregnancy induced lobotomy like intellect.

I really shouldn’t be admitting to this, but not so long ago she came home and asked me what the capital of Canada is. I couldn’t remember. But do you know what the worst part is? When I did google it, the answer actually came as a surprise. How freaken embarrassing. My parents must be so thrilled they spent all that money on my education.

So because I want to see how many of you actually know what the capital of Canada is, I’m not going to tell you the answer.

Now I know I’m not stupid, I did okay at school and got into university and have managed to get through life pretty well with what I learnt – but I can honestly say since the day I left school that I have never needed to know what an isosceles triangle is. Nor have I needed to know why salt water produces more up-thrust than fresh water (isn’t that interesting? Learnt that recently from Holly). Which is lucky because had I needed to I’d be screwed.

So has my brain dumbed down? Is it Mother Nature’s trick to make us able to deal with the monotony of motherhood? Or has my brain over time just done enough spring cleaning to eradicate some of the things that were once useful to me (like what an isosceles triangle is) to make way for Β things more applicable to my life? Like being able to recite every episode of Fireman Sam.

How’s your baby brain? Did you know what the capital of Canada is?


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