“Mum, why do ….”

You know those days when your kids just fire question after question at you? The days when you’re tired, out of answers, you just don’t know, or you just don’t give a shit? The ones where you get really childish and for the sake of answering you just make something up to hush the wee rabbits up?

With a hundred children of my own, this happens to me a lot. And as we all know I am partial to the odd spot of childish behaviour and although I can answer most of their questions, sometimes it’s just too hard. Today for instance “Mum, why do we have skin?”,”Because otherwise your blood would leak on my clean floor”. I know, such a proud parenting moment.

When I was a kid every time we used to drive over the Sydney Harbour Bridge, we’d talk about the naval boats we could see over at Garden Island. I remember Dad once pointing out a particular big ship that was coming out of service and I asked him “what will they do with it then”. To which he replied “they’re going to melt it down and make paper clips out of it”.

Now I can’t tell you how long I thought about this for and how much it messed with my head. And I kid you not, every time I see those boats as I drive over the bridge, I think of it.

But the one that really did my head in when I was a kid I’d ask Dad how Elvis Presley died and he’d tell me it was from eating too much ice cream and bacon rinds. WTF? Terrified the shit out of me!

What little fibs do you tell your kids?

If you’re Australian, remember this ad? Still cracks me up when I see it.


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