Christmas and Black Dogs

Yesterday I was in David Jones and stumbled into this. So I guess it must be christmas soon?

Correct me if I’m wrong but don’t we still have Father’s Day, Halloween & Melbourne Cup merchandising to totally exploit before the big fat bearded one visits?

photo 2-3Obviously nobody was shopping in there, people just kept arriving at the top of the escalator, doing a double take at all the christmas trees and carol singing before getting their smart phones out to take a photo.

Except me. I bought another handbag while I was there.

photo 1-2It’s going to be my favourite decoration on our tree this year. In three months time when I’ll be thinking about christmas next.

Anyway it was a bit of amusement for the day. Not much has been amusing me lately, that horrible black dog has been chasing me around and it has been a rough couple of weeks.

I’ve written several posts about it and then emailed them to friends asking them if they think I should publish them and then I totally chicken out and they remain in my blog drafts.

I don’t know why I’m so reluctant to blog about depression when I’m experiencing it. I guess I don’t trust my own head and once anything is on the internet it’s there forever.

Last week after some time away from social media I posted something on Instagram with a hashtag about depression and I was unfollowed in droves. How sad is that? How bonkers is the world when we are still frightened of people who suffer from depression? IT’S 2014 PEOPLE, not the freaken dark ages.

A very good friend of mine whose opinion I greatly value said to me after I’d emailed her my latest heart pouring, “I’m a big fan of speaking my truth”. What she said has been dancing around in my head for a couple of days but there is so much about my story that I’ve never written about and I’m just not sure about sharing it.

So I’m not going to post any of them. They’ll stay in my blog’s vault for me to read at a later date.

But you know what? Sometimes that’s enough. Sometimes just writing something and not posting it is just as good as sharing it. For my head anyway.

In the meantime. MERRY CHRISTMAS.




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