I am having a dreadful week.

Yesterday I embarrassed myself when I wee’d all over the floor at the gym thanks to the damage my four children did stomping all over my pelvic floor during pregnancy.

And then today this happened.


“Exquisite Eyebrows”. I don’t think so.

I had my eyebrows butchered by a sadistic eyebrow threader who was either high on crack or has a death wish.

Even before she’d finished I knew there was a problem because I could feel how much she was ripping out of my face. Then when she realised what she’d done she grabbed the little brush and tried to smooth what was left downwards. Like I wouldn’t notice. Biatch.

I took one look in the mirror and screamed “what have you done?” and she kept stepping backwards saying “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how I did that?”. It caused quite a bit of a scene as it was in one of those pop up stores in the middle of a shopping centre and our voices were raised with me saying to her “they are just so thin and crooked and half of one is just not there anymore, oh my god, oh my god”. 

But I really knew how bad they were when I took one look at my kids and they stared at me as though my nose had just fallen off my face.

I am just so gutted. I look horrible. My bare brows have changed my face totally and I look strange.

I normally have quite thick and dark shaped brows, so after I realised I’d be needing some assistance in the pretend eyebrow department I headed straight over to Mac and told them the story. I know they felt sorry for me but they still sniggered and cracked a joke before selling me some hardcore eyebrow paint with a brush and I left with enough equipment to paint a small house.

I still haven’t decided what course of revenge I should take. I’ve already done the mature thing and posted a photo of my brazilian eyebrow job naming and shaming said eyebrow threader on our local area Mum’s Facebook page that has about 4,000 members. Plus it’s a story too good not to blog about either so I’ll share that with my readers and later on I’ll probably put it on Twitter as well.

The moral of the story: Never f*** with a blogger’s eyebrows.

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