We leave London in a week.
I’ve been neglecting my blog a lot lately because I can’t think of anything funny to write. It’s really bothering me.
The purpose of my blog has always been to write funny things about my life, but I’m not my usual self at the moment – being able to see the funny in the mundane … because I’m just too sad and preoccupied with our move.
I absolutely love my life in London. There’s nothing about it I don’t like. In fact there’s nothing about London I don’t like. Except football traffic maybe. And London’s inability to coordinate its road works properly so they don’t take weeks and weeks to fix a tiny section of road.
Little things in the big scheme really.
That phrase if it ain’t broke don’t fix it comes to mind all the time – except in our situation moving to Australia was a decision we made based on many factors that I won’t go into.
I didn’t think about the possibility of being so sad about eventually leaving when we moved here in 2007, all I could think of was how much I couldn’t wait to get out of Sydney and how cool it was that we were going to experience life on the other side of the world, away from all the things I didn’t like about my life in Australia. Which at the time was quite a lot of it.
That’s not a criticism of Sydney, or Australia, I was just very depressed and Rob and I wanted a new life.
I have changed enormously during my time here. My needs and wants have changed and I’ve grown up. I’m frightened of going back, I’m not going to lie. Totally shitting myself actually. There are so many unknowns and so many adjustments to make and I don’t want to leave my comfort zone. Especially as my life has been so happy here.
I know there is lots of good stuff in our future back in Sydney, but that doesn’t make saying goodbye any easier and I can’t see that far ahead at the moment anyway.
So I’ve already said quite a few teary goodbyes and have a huge chunk of them to do tomorrow as it’s the last day of the school year at Holly and Luca’s school. I’m dreading it because I know the tears will flow and at the end of the day, a chapter will close.
But I have my gorgeous kids who are dealing with the move in an extraordinary way, they are such well-balanced, adaptable little people and I’m so proud that they seem to be coping with this far better than I.
Plus I have Rob, who understands me. I love that he feels the same way as I do about leaving, there’s something so comforting about sharing it with him. Especially as he’s just as sad as I am .. but is just less of a drama queen about it!
But it will be okay, I will be okay, we will be okay. Leaving London is not the worst thing that has happened to me by a long shot.
Not even close.